By: Michelle Beck, MOTR
The term “self-regulate” describes a calm state that is achieved by a person without outside assistance, hence the word “self.” Some of the strategies that older children and adults use every day to navigate their busy worlds developed without much thought. Other strategies were specifically taught to them and require some practice to become “second nature.” In this blog, we will discuss tips for identifying emotions and strategies we can use with children to help them on the path to self-regulation.
Identifying emotions is the first step in developing the self-awareness needed to self-regulate. If a child does not know the difference between calm, angry, happy, sad, etc. they cannot be expected to organize themselves into a calm state independently. In addition to the many children’s books, shows, and movies that label and demonstrate various emotions, consider using a “feelings board” to discuss different emotional states. These boards are often simple strips or posters with faces that identify how they are feeling. Ask the child to match the faces on the feelings board to family members, people on television, books, or magazines, or role play scenarios in which you act out an emotion. The feelings board can be used in an “emotional review” of a hard situation. After a child has a meltdown or experiences conflict, try using the feelings board to guide a discussion about how everyone involved felt and what they did to recover emotionally.
Our emotions are multi-layered, constantly shifting, and sometimes too big to handle. Knowing that children need structure and routine to self-regulate, consider the physical structure of your living space. Create distinct spaces for alone time, schoolwork, free play, and physical activity. Create a visual schedule that everyone in the family can refer to each day. Knowing where to be and what to expect decreases anxiety and helps to provide the suddenly missing structure from our lives. And all along, keep discussing emotions as a family.
A sensory diet is a powerful tool to assist in creating a well-rounded daily routine. Reach out to your occupational therapist to develop a sensory diet that is right for your child. The following are some general tips and hints to assist in not only calming a dysregulated child, but in creating healthy routines that assist in developing long term self-regulation.
• Warm bath
• Vibrating toys
• Soften the lighting
• Calming scents such as lavender or vanilla
• Suck yogurt or applesauce through a straw
• Crunchy or resistive food (think beef jerky or tough fruit leather)
• Heavy work- pulling a heavy wagon, moving furniture, wall pushups, etc.
• Tactile opportunities- dry rice/bean bin, Play Doh, slime
• Deep breathing, synchronized breathing, or blowing bubbles
• Self-massage to the hands, feet, ear lobes, or head
• Progressive relaxation
• Guided meditation
• Yoga and rhythmic exercise
Involving these calming activities can not only help soothe an already anxious child, but they can be used preventatively as well, to help the child remain regulated before the anxiety builds. This can help children to be better participants in their environment.